Differences
by Iloveplotbunnies
Summary: "I didn't need to know that you weren't wearing boxers, Jane." Van Pelt shuttered. "For some women, I guess that's a turn on…" Summer Secret Santa gift for Just Mosie.


**Differences**

**Summary:** "I didn't need to know that you weren't wearing boxers, Jane." Van Pelt shuttered. "For some women, I guess that's a turn on…" Summer Secret Santa gift for Just Mosie.

**Disclaimer: **Not Mine!

**Prompt:** Paper cut.

**A/N: **

I absolutely loved writing this piece, especially due to all the little jokes I could slip in. This piece is also for Just Mosie, who wanted a story about paper cuts.

Enjoy.

**OoO**

He knew it was going to be one of _those _days, especially when he had stepped into the office and realized that in the mad rush to work he had forgotten his pants—so there he stood, in the middle of the Serious Crimes Unit just in his black boxers with little penguins on them.

Lisbon had taken one look at him, and asked him what he thought about the weather outside before she had continued on without him even responding, his mouth open wide in complete and utter shock.

Jane decided that at some point, he'd have to slip to the apartment and find pants because he wasn't about to go around the tri-state area in penguin boxers…it just seemed unmanly. He sat down on the couch and tried to leverage one of the cushions over his lack of pants which received some strange looks from Van Pelt, who had glanced over at him from her computer.

"What are you doing?"

He almost sighed, could she not see that he was hiding his lack of pants problem? So instead of telling her the truth, he lied.

"I'm trying to sell the couch on EBAY."

Van Pelt seemed to accept the answer which had him quietly groaning, yeah…it was another one of those work days where everyone seemed to have lost their minds (and their eyesight) though, he secretly wondered if Lisbon had ignored it in favor of having been able to check out his boxers (perhaps Lisbon had a penguin fetish or something…) Personally though, he wondered why Van Pelt hadn't said anything about his lack of pants either.

Unless….

_No_ way…

Van Pelt was checking him out also?

He glanced back at her, eyes glued to the computer screen and he decided to move the cushion of his unclothed legs.

"Do you notice anything different?" He asked, and Van Pelt glanced back at him.

"Sure." She responded. "You don't have that cushion on your legs anymore."

"No…well, yeah but that's not what's different." Van Pelt peered at him again, brown eyes sweeping every inch of his body and she shrugged.

"Did you get a haircut?"

"No."

"Did you decide to wear something new to work?"

"It's what I decided not to wear to work." She glanced down at him and pulled a face.

"I didn't need to know that." She muttered. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Oh come on, it's not like you didn't notice it." Jane argued, and she glanced at him.

"I didn't need to know that you weren't wearing boxers, Jane." Van Pelt shuttered. "For some women, I guess that's a turn on…" He stared at her, his mouth open wide. "Have you told Lisbon about this revelation? I bet she'd _love_ to hear about this one." Jane cocked his head to the side.

"What?" Lisbon rushed from her office to stand between the redhead agent and wayward consultant.

"Jane has something to tell you." Lisbon turned toward Jane, and glanced down at him.

"Yes?"

"Do you notice anything different about him?" Van Pelt asked her and Lisbon surveyed him with her eyes.

"Hmmm…" She surveyed. "He cut his hair?"

"That's what I said." Van Pelt told her.

"It's nothing important Lisbon." Jane pressed, the last thing he needed was for Van Pelt to tell her something that _obviously _wasn't true. After all, he was sitting in his boxers. On the couch. Right in front of them. No pants on.

"So what's different then?"

"It's what he decided _not _to wear to work, this morning." Lisbon glanced down in the general direction of where his pants usually were and muttered the words he had never _expected _from her mouth.

"He just must not be that big, then." Lisbon responded, her eyes focused on Van Pelt. "I guess I win the office poll."

Jane's jaw dropped.

Now, this was just getting ridiculous…he wanted answers, and he wanted them _now_!

Reluctantly, he decided to visit Hightower.

**OoO**

"Come in, Patrick." Madeline Hightower greeted, her eyes focused on her own desk paperwork. "What can I do for you, today?" He glanced down on the ground.

"Do you notice anything different about me?" Hightower brought her eyes off the desk to stare at the consultant, who stood away from the desk so she could view _everything_. She remained quiet for a few moments before she nodded.

"You actually combed your hair today." Hightower commended. "I think I'm going to have to take a picture of this, no one is going to believe me." Hightower pulled out her cell phone and took his picture before he could even say another word. Jane's eyes about popped out of his skull, as he stormed from her office in search of _someone _who could tell him what was different about him besides his haircut and his _lack _of boxers.

Which was why, Jane had cornered Cho in the kitchenette.

"Hey." Cho greeted, as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Hey, do you notice anything different about me." Cho blinked.

"This is a strange question…"

"I just need to know." Jane told him, and Cho just glanced down at Jane before he nodded.

"Yeah." Cho didn't elaborate as he sipped at his coffee.

"Well?" He questioned when the man didn't respond.

"Well what?"

"What's different?"

"…"

"What?"

"Van Pelt said you didn't have anything under your pants on."

Jane almost screamed, but he realized that all his problems were going to go away once he just put on some pants before coming back to work.

**OoO**

In the safety of his dress pants, Jane stepped into the bullpen to be greeted by complete silence.

"What?" He asked, looking down. "Do I have something on my shoes, or my shirt?" No one responded, and Lisbon stepped into the room with Hightower.

"…I think if we reduce the budget by at least…" Lisbon trailed off, her eyes wide and on Jane. "…"

"We…" Hightower glanced at Jane also, and he wondered if everyone was just going insane. "…"

"What?" He repeated, everyone looked away. "Do I have something in my teeth, did I forget to take the piece of toilet paper off my shoe?" No one responded. "Is my zipper down?" He glanced down to which Hightower snorted.

"Oh, it's WAY down." Hightower spoke, disgusted. "Go take care of yourself before you return to work." He stood, to which every shielded their eyes and Van Pelt tore over to the couch to pry a cushion up from the couch and hastily throw it at the spot between his legs.

"God," Lisbon muttered. "I didn't think I'd be seeing a peep show at work." Jane glanced at her until Rigsby came into the room, a mug of coffee in his hands and he took one look at Jane and the mug crashed down to the ground.

"Jane?" Rigsby asked, in shock. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?"

"First his boxers, and now…everything else."

He fainted before he could even respond.

**OoO**

"…Jane, I seriously do think we need to take you to get some medication." Lisbon lectured. "Have you even been listening to me?" Jane glanced down at the packet of papers in front of him, before he hurriedly flipped the pages.

However, he wasn't expecting to receive a paper cut.

"Ouch!" He cried, and Lisbon smirked.

"It serves you right," Lisbon stood from her spot and turned around, only to reveal that she wasn't wearing any pants.

Oh no, not this again. Jane fainted on the spot.

Lisbon turned around to see what had hit the floor, only to find her consultant unconscious on the ground and she shrugged.

Oh well, she thought, some people just couldn't stand the sight of their own blood.


End file.
